


The voices inside your head

by Bring_me_a_shrubbery



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bring_me_a_shrubbery/pseuds/Bring_me_a_shrubbery
Summary: 'Sometimes it feels like his mind is torturing him; bringing up memories from his past that he definitely doesn’t want. The images are so vivid it feels like he is back there, back in that chair and being tortured for months.'Character study of sorts focusing on Nikto and his relationships with the other Spetsnaz operators during a mission in Verdansk.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	The voices inside your head

When Nikto meets the other Spetsnaz operators for the first time he isn’t impressed. They are too loud for his liking; Minotaur brags and shows off while Rodion discusses movies every chance he gets. Bale is okay though. He is quiet which Nikto appreciates. All three of them are capable soldiers though and working with them isn’t a problem. They communicate easily with each other and always have each other’s back. Nikto appreciates them for the soldiers they are from the very beginning. It does take a while though before Nikto start to appreciate them for the persons they are.

Nikto isn’t much of a talkative person. At least not now, he has almost forgotten who he used to be before Mr Z. He barely knows who he is now. He is a good soldier; that much he knows. He tries to tell himself that’s all that matters, tries to convince himself it doesn’t matter that he feels broken inside. He shies away from people because he never knows who he can trust. Doesn’t want to risk getting close to someone only to lose them. He excels in combat with his calculating, methodical mind and his experience, but besides that? When he is not on a mission he barely knows how to function. His different identities making him so confused he doesn’t know who he is anymore, he doesn’t even know if he wants to know. Sometimes it feels like his mind is torturing him; bringing up memories from his past that he definitely doesn’t want. The images are so vivid it feels like he is back there, back in that chair and being tortured for months.  
He tries to hide his feelings from the others as much as he can. They already know about his dissociative disorder but at least he tries to pretend he is okay and that he doesn’t feel like he is dying inside on a daily basis. He’s quite good at pretending most days. Not this day though.

They’re in a safe house outside the border of Kastovia. He sits alone in one of the rooms and cleans his rifle while the others are in the next room talking about something. Nikto doesn’t know what they’re talking about and doesn’t care to go and find out either.  
He prefers to keep to himself most of the time and he just doesn’t feel well today. He wouldn’t be able to focus on cleaning his weapon with all of that talking anyway. When he’s done he puts his weapon back together. That’s when he notices his hands are trembling. He had managed to keep the bad thoughts away while focusing on his weapon, but now that he is done the thoughts are coming back. Nikto puts his AS-val back in his lap and just stares at it without really seeing it; his mind is racing as it so often does. The thoughts won’t stop and soon he sees Mr Z’s face, hears his voice and his laugh. Nikto squeezes his eyes shut and tries to bring himself out of it, but it feels like the darkness is never-ending, feels like he will never be okay again and he chokes back a sob. Then he hears a voice say his name and it isn’t Mr Z this time. He blinks at the sound of the voice and sees Rodion standing in the doorway. Nikto tries to hastily wipe away the tears in his eyes; he’s still shaking and not quite fully aware of where he is. It’s like he has to convince himself that it’s over; that he’s not being tortured anymore. The thoughts are confusing and it feels like he is slowly going insane. He hears Rodion carefully walk closer to him while asking if he’s okay. Nikto just nods. He knows that Rodion can see through it, knows he must likely have seen the tears in his eyes and noticed his trembling. He knows there’s no point in lying; but some part of him is afraid the others will abandon him if they see the darkness inside. Rodion doesn’t say anything about his obvious lie though; he just sits down next to Nikto.  
“Have you ever seen the movie Full metal jacket?”  
“No.” Nikto is extremely confused by the question; this is not what he expected.  
Rodion just looks delighted by Nikto’s answer. “We were just discussing it! It’s really good.”  
After that he proceeds to tell Nikto about the plot. Nikto doesn’t listen much to what Rodion is saying, but his voice helps ground Nikto and brings him back from the darkness that threatens to swallow him. When Rodion has told the entire plot of the movie Nikto feels a bit better. He barely even remembers half of what Rodion just said though; but he blames it on the fact that the younger  
soldier simply talks too much.  
“You okay?” Rodion asks gently.  
“Yes.” This time he actually tells the truth. Rodion must realize that because a smile spreads on his face. “Good. You really should watch that movie sometimes, you know?”  
“You just told me how it ends.”  
“It’s still worth watching, it’s a great movie!”  
Nikto actually chuckles at Rodion’s enthusiasm. “If you say so”  
Rodion laughs at Nikto’s reply and moves to stand up. “I’ll be with the others, feel free to join us if you want.”  
Nikto considers this for a while before answering: “I just might do that.”  
Rodion smiles at him and pats his arm before leaving the room. Nikto joins the others just a few minutes later. He doesn’t say anything, but he sits with them, listens to them talk and almost enjoys it. That is progress.

The next day comes around and Rodion still treats Nikto the same. Nikto had been worried Rodion would judge him and think he is weak, but that doesn’t happen. The only thing that has changed is that Nikto might actually smile at Rodion from time to time. He also finds that Rodion’s constant chatter about American movies is slightly less annoying. The young soldier still talks too much though. He is currently bantering with Minotaur who can be just as talkative himself. Bale is watching them with a fond and slightly exasperated smile. He looks at Nikto and together they shake their heads and chuckle at the other two soldiers. The four of them are sitting together in a chopper, heading for a mission in Verdansk. It’s a relatively easy mission, or at least that’s what they think.

They have split up into two teams for this mission; Nikto ends up with Minotaur by his side.  
The two of them are stealthily moving down the Barakett promenade, heading towards Downtown.  
Everything is going smoothly until they are ambushed by another armistice team that starts shooting at them.  
Nikto throws himself behind a wall to his left; but he isn’t quick enough and a bullet grazes his right arm. Even though it’s hardly life threatening his arm still hurts and he can feel the blood trickling down his sleeve. He looks to his right and sees that Minotaur has taken cover behind an abandoned car. Nikto peeks around the corner of the building and shoots. The recoil makes his arm hurt, but he ignores the pain and manages to hit one enemy in the chest. The enemy that isn’t even supposed to be his enemy, he thinks. He tries to put that thought to the side; he can worry about that later. For the moment all that matters is getting out of here alive. He can hear Minotaur calling Bale on his radio; telling him to get them help. When Minotaur proceeds to shoot an enemy straight in the head Nikto can’t help but feel that they just might make it out of here. At least until he peeks around the corner again and sees the RPG that’s being fired towards Minotaur’s position. Minotaur tries to get away but doesn’t come very far. At least he doesn’t get a direct hit from the rocket, but the blast from the explosion knocks him to the ground.

Worry spikes through Nikto when he sees Minotaur fall down and not get up. He soon realizes that he isn’t even worried about the mission at this point. That’s what he should worry about; the fact that the soldier by his side might be dead. Instead all he can worry about is losing someone that’s actually begun to mean something to him. Just the thought of that scares him.  
He pushes back his fear and tries to think through his options. He’s currently alone against two enemy soldiers, and his right arm is hurting enough that he has problem controlling the recoil on his rifle. He even has problems lifting the weapon. He reaches down and grabs the pistol that is strapped to his leg. He shoots at his enemies with his left hand and misses. When they shoot back their bullets are dangerously close to his head.  
He puts down the pistol and picks up his AS-val once again; firing a shot that hits one of them in the face. Nikto grits his teeth at the pain that spreads through his arm at the recoil; more blood dripping down onto the ground as the wound probably just got worse. The remaining foe jumps onto a vehicle and drives off. He’s probably going for back-up, meaning they’re going to have to get out of here as fast as they can. Nikto makes sure the area is clear off enemies before moving over to Minotaur who is still lying face-down on the ground.  
As he comes closer he can see that the other man’s blonde hair is stained with blood. Nikto kneels down next to him and reaches out a hand to feel for a pulse. He feels a steady pulse beneath his fingertips and releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. At least his fellow soldier is still alive. Nikto still doesn’t know the extent of his injuries though. He puts his hand on Minotaur’s shoulder and squeezes.  
“Minotaur? Minotaur, wake up!” Minotaur groans and Nikto can feel relief coursing through his veins when he sees Minotaur’s blue eyes looking up at him. Minotaur blinks and seems to remember what happened because he struggles to stand up while Nikto puts his hands on Minotaur’s shoulders to hold him down.  
“Take it easy; you could be concussed. How are you feeling?”  
“Dizzy” The soldier says truthfully. “What happened? Where are the others?”  
“They’re on their way. Should be here soon. There was an armistice team shooting at us. Do you remember?”  
“I remember some of it. Don’t know how I ended up on the ground though. It feels like I’ve been hit by a truck.”  
Nikto chuckles at that and gently squeezes Minotaur’s shoulder. “Almost. You got caught in the blast from an RPG. Come on, we should move behind that building for more cover. You think you can stand?”  
“Of course I can” In a way he’s right; he manages to stand up a couple of seconds before he starts to sway. Nikto is quick to catch him and steady him. He moves around and places himself on Minotaur’s right side. “Lean on me.” He puts his uninjured left arm around the other man’s waist.  
Minotaur grumbles that he’s perfectly fine to walk on his own, but still leans heavily on Nikto.  
They make it over to the building and Nikto helps Minotaur carefully sit down and lean against the wall. Minotaur looks up at Nikto and seems to notice the blood covering the sleeve of his jacket.  
“What happened to your arm?”  
Nikto looks down at it and just shrugs. “I got grazed by a bullet. It’s nothing to worry about.”  
Minotaur rolls his eyes at that. “That’s a lot of blood Nikto; it’s not like it’s a scraped knee we’re talking about.”  
Nikto sits down next to Minotaur. “You were unconscious for several minutes and you think I should be worried about a grazed arm?”  
“Are you saying I actually had you worried there for a second?”  
“Tell anyone and you’re dead.”  
Minotaur laughs at that and carefully puts an arm around Nikto’s shoulders. Nikto tenses up a bit at first, but he soon puts his arm around Minotaur in return. Minotaur was right; Nikto had been worried. Seeing Minotaur lying completely still on the ground had scared him a lot more than he’d like to admit. So he keeps his arm around the other man’s shoulder as they sit there in silence. It doesn’t take long before they can spot Bale and Rodion hurrying towards their position; rifles in hand.  
Nikto moves to stand up as he sees them. “We’ve got to get out of here; one of them managed to escape and might have gone for back-up.”  
Bale nods. “We’ll go north. The hospital isn’t far from here. We can spend the night there and try to make it out of Verdansk in the morning. Hopefully we’ll find some medical supplies at the hospital; you two look like you’ve seen better days” His eyes scan from Nikto’s blood soaked arm to Minotaur’s bleeding head and he shakes his head “How many enemies?”  
“Four. They wore both coalition and allegiance markings.”  
“Fuck. Okay we’ll worry about that later; first we need to get the hell out of here. Rodion, how does it look?”  
Rodion, who has been busy looking at Minotaur’s wounds up until now, looks up at Bale.  
“I’ll have to take a closer look at the hospital, but I think he’ll make it there without a problem. He might have to lean on someone though.”  
“Hey! I’m right here you know! And I can walk just fine. Little shit.” Minotaur mutters and gets a reprimanding glare from Bale that shuts him up quickly. Rodion chuckles and moves on to Nikto.  
“I’ll just stop the bleeding for now and take a closer look at it later. You won’t be able to shoot for a while though.”  
“I can shoot just fine.”  
“Oh god, you’re just as bad as Minotaur.” Rodion starts laughing at Nikto who glares at him.  
Bale just shakes his head at them all. “Come on, we have to go! Have you patched up his arm, Rodion?”  
“Yes, it should hold until we get to the hospital.” Rodion pats Nikto on his good arm before turning to look at Bale who nods at him.  
“Good, then let’s move. I’ll take point; Nikto you support Minotaur. Rodion will cover our flanks.”  
Rodion nods and picks up his rifle while Nikto once more puts his arm around Minotaur’s waist to support him. They move quietly, keeping close to each other all the time. The only time they have to stop is when Minotaur has to throw up in a bush. Nikto keeps his arm around Minotaur’s waist to support him while he retches. Rodion is standing on Minotaur’s other side and Bale is holding up the front, scanning for enemies. When Minotaur is done Rodion and Nikto both have their arms around him; supporting him. They are just outside the hospital’s parking lot now. As soon as they make it inside Minotaur can get the rest he needs.  
“Hold on brother, we’re almost there.” Nikto can hear the concern in Bale’s voice. He’s concerned too. Minotaur might be lucid, but they have no idea how badly injured he really is yet.  
He keeps his arm around the other man and carries on walking. Nikto is exhausted; not having slept much the last couple of days. The pain in his right arm only increases, but he ignores it and puts one foot in front of the other. They reach the hospital doors and Bale opens them; looking down the empty corridor. There’s a door to their left and Bale kicks it open; weapon ready just in case. There’s no one there; just an empty supply closet. He turns to look at the others. Minotaur can barely stand up on his own; Nikto and Rodion are supporting all his weight now.  
“Let him sit down for a moment; I’ll make sure this floor is clear. Rodion, you guard the door to this room.”  
They all follow his command; Rodion and Nikto carefully lower Minotaur to the floor and Nikto sits by his side, watching over him. Rodion moves to stand at the door, weapon in hand.  
Bale nods at them before walking away and leaving the three of them in the supply closet.  
Nikto looks at the floor in front of him; thoughts racing. His mind can’t stop replaying that moment over and over again; that moment when Minotaur hit the ground and didn’t get up. The moment he thought the other man was actually dead. He remembers the fear he felt and asks himself one question. Just when did he start to care this much? He tries to clear his mind of the images and focuses on the man sitting next to him, watching him closely for any sign that Minotaur’s condition might be getting worse. He does look okay for the moment though. Or at least as okay as he can be considering what he’s been through. He still decides to ask him.  
“How are you holding up?”  
“I’m tired. And I hate this place.”  
“Verdansk or this hospital?” Nikto asks.  
“Both. I just want to sleep. Besides, it’s been too long since I last drank some Vodka”  
“Stay awake mate, you can’t fall asleep now. We don’t know how bad your head injury is”  
Rodion says. He’s standing with his back towards them; looking out in the empty hallway. He shrugs and continues.  
“And you definitely should not be drinking Vodka with a head injury. At least you’re well enough to complain.”  
Minotaur mutters a bit at Rodion’s words, but Nikto can see the slight smile on his lips. At least they’re all in good spirits despite the mess they’re in. That’s something. 

It doesn’t take long before Bale comes back. “Everyone okay?”  
Rodion nods. “Minotaur is complaining about the lack of Vodka in this hospital, but apart from that we’re fine.”  
Bale rolls his eyes. “Always complaining about something. Alright, follow me. The floor is clear and I’ve found a better room for now.”  
They help Minotaur up from the floor and follow Bale out in the hallway. He leads them to a small room with two hospital beds. The bed sheets are dirty and there is blood on them in some places.  
Rodion rips the sheets of the mattress before helping Minotaur lie down on it.  
“It’s not exactly a five star hotel, but we don’t have any other options for the moment.”  
Minotaur settles down on the bed and just shrugs. “It beats sitting on the floor.”  
“That’s the spirit.” Bale chuckles and pats him on the shoulder. “Besides, this is only temporary. There are no windows on this floor; meaning we’ll have to search through the top floors for a better room. We need to make sure the whole hospital is clear from enemies.”  
Rodion is quick to volunteer. “I’ll go. We’re going to need medical supplies and I know what we need.”  
Bale hesitates for a moment, thinking. “I don’t like the fact of anyone going alone. There’s a lot to cover.”  
“I’ll go with him.” Nikto stands up from where he’s been sitting on the other bed. “I can still shoot with my left arm, besides I can help him carry some supplies.”  
Bale nods. “That’s settled then. You two search through the rest of the hospital while we stay here. Be careful guys. I mean it.”  
Nikto nods and follows Rodion out of the room.

Together they walk through the empty hospital corridors; Nikto is holding his pistol with his left hand. They’re quiet for most of the time; only speaking when they absolutely have to. Most of their communication is through body language as they move through the hospital floor after floor.  
They’re thorough in their search; carefully checking every corner of the place.  
The hospital is empty of enemies and they manage to find some supplies that can be of use. They also find a room that they both agree they can spend the night in. It’s a big room with five beds and a medicine cupboard in the middle. There’s also some supply shelves at one of the walls and several different escape routes out of the room. Another important thing is that that there are windows overlooking part of the parking lot making it possible to see if enemies are approaching their position. They begin to strip the beds of the sheets; even in this room the sheets are dirty and there are small stains of blood on them. The mattresses look okay though, and like Minotaur had said: it’s better than the floor.  
When they’re done they nod at each other and start to walk back they way they came; Rodion takes point and Nikto walks closely behind him. They make their way down the stairs and back to the room where the Bale twins are waiting for them.  
Bale sees them and immediately asks them how it went.  
“The hospital is clear of enemies; we’ve found supplies and also a room we can stay in for the night. It’s on the third floor though.” Rodion looks at Minotaur who’s lying on the bed. “Think you can make it up the stairs?”  
Minotaur nods and stands up with some help from his brother.  
Bale turns to look at Rodion and Nikto. “Lead the way.”  
Rodion takes the lead with Bale and Minotaur behind him. Nikto follows them all; clutching his pistol. They might have cleared the hospital but you can’t be careful enough.

The walk to the third floor goes well; Minotaur makes it up the stairs with a little help from his brother. Soon they are at the room that Rodion and Nikto chose. Bale lowers Minotaur down on the nearest bed then proceeds to walk around the room, looking at all the escape routes.  
“Good choice guys, this will do.” He moves to stand by the window before turning to look at the others. Rodion is currently checking on Minotaur’s condition; cleaning his wounds and feeling the man’s ribs for any fractures. Minotaur groans out of pain and Rodion pats him on the shoulder. “Sorry mate, but I have to do this. Your ribs are definitely fractured; you need to stay as still as possible.” Minotaur just nods and breathes through the pain.  
Rodion continues: “You’ve got a broken wrist and a few fractured ribs. And you are most likely covered in bruises. Then there’s the head injury which I’m most worried about. I’ll keep a close eye on you. You’ll have to tell me if it’s getting worse.”  
“I will.”  
“Good.” He turns to Nikto who’s sitting on the bed next to Minotaur.  
“Let me take a look at your arm.”  
Nikto nods and holds out his arm for Rodion. The younger soldier rips of the blood soaked sleeve of Nikto’s jacket so he can see the wound better.  
“I’m going to clean your wound and then I’ll stitch it up. It’s not a serious wound, but you’ll still have to rest your arm as much as possible.”  
Nikto nods. It hurts when Rodion cleans the wound and he grits his teeth against the pain.  
When Rodion is done with the stitches he pats Nikto on the back and turns towards Bale.  
“What do we do now?”  
Bale looks at them all, thinking.  
“There isn’t much we can do at the moment. We stay here, rest and keep an eye out for the enemy. The mission is aborted; there’s no way we can finish it like this. Tomorrow we’ll get the hell out of Verdansk and report back to base.”  
He looks at Nikto. “Did it seem like the enemy knew you were going to be there or did you just run into them?”  
“They were lying in wait for us. We had no chance to react before they started shooting.”  
Bale looks grim. “This is bad news. We can’t trust anyone else right now, so we’ll have to be careful. It was bad enough before, but allegiance firing on their own? Everything is going to get worse from here on.” He shakes his head and clears his throat.  
“We’ll focus on that later. For the moment we’ll have to decide who sleeps where. Rodion you take the bed next to Minotaur, you should be close to him in case anything happens. Nikto you’re with me on the other side of the room.”  
The beds are far apart from each other; with three being on one side of the room and the other two on the other side.  
Nikto nods and walks over to sit on the bed he will sleep in. He listens to Bale as the staff sergeant continues to talk.  
“We’ll take shifts during the night. Minotaur will rest, but the rest of us will take it in turns to keep watch.”  
“We’ll have to wake Minotaur once every half an hour to check if he’s lucid. Ask him questions and don’t let him go back to sleep until he’s given a proper answer. That’s crucial.”  
Rodion says as he looks at the injured man in the bed next to him.  
Minotaur doesn’t look too happy about it, but he doesn’t say anything.

Nikto ends up with the first shift. He stands looking out of the window, listening to every sound in the building. It’s all quiet and the only thing moving outside are some birds flying through the darkness of the night.  
When half an hour has gone he walks over to Minotaur’s bed and gently shakes the man awake.  
Minotaur doesn’t wake at first; he just mutters something and proceeds to turn away from Nikto.  
“Minotaur? Wake up.”  
That does the trick and Minotaur opens his eyes. “What do you want?”  
“I need to check that you’re okay. Can you tell me where we are?”  
“We’re in some shitty hospital in Verdansk. Can I go back to sleep now?”  
Nikto chuckles. “Soon. First, tell me your rank and your name.”  
“Sergeant Maxim Ivanovich Bale. Now, let me sleep.”  
Nikto can’t help but smile at him.  
“Go back to sleep.”

Nothing happens for the rest of the shift and it’s time for Bale to take over. Nikto walks over to his bed and wakes him. The staff sergeant blinks and looks up at him in the dimmed light of the room. “Has everything gone okay?”  
He sits up and gets out of his bed as Nikto answers the question.  
“Yes. I have seen no enemy activity and Minotaur seemed okay when I woke him.”  
“Good. I’ll take it from here. Go to sleep Nikto.”

Nikto nods and walks over to his bed. His thoughts are spinning as he closes his eyes. He manages to fall asleep quite fast though.  
When he falls asleep he dreams of Mr Z. It’s not the first time; but it might be one of the worst. At least in a while. He feels the pain when his face is cut into; it feels like it is being torn apart. The blood pours down his face and spills onto his bare chest. Even though it’s just a nightmare he can still feel the coppery taste of blood in his mouth; Mr Z’s voice is ringing in his ears. The voice is telling him how pathetic he is, that he is worth nothing. That nobody cares about him.  
When Nikto wakes up he’s covered in sweat, shivering, his chest heaving and his vision black. He sits up and gasps for air. The voices in his head are screaming at him. He feels unsafe, doesn’t know where he is or who he is. He pulls his knees up to his chest; hugging them.  
“We’re okay, we’re safe.” He repeats these words to himself, to his different personalities, desperately trying to contain the anxiety building within him. Every breath hurts.  
He can hear footsteps coming closer to him and his fear raises. His mind is telling him to get away; convinced it’s Mr Z that’s back to torture him again.  
The voice he hears is soothing though. It’s warm and there isn’t a trace of Mr Z’s coldness in it.  
Nikto opens his eyes a bit and sees Bale standing by the end of his bed. The staff sergeant looks concerned and Nikto feels guilt and embarrassment rush through him. He shouldn’t be this weak. He shouldn’t feel this broken. When he looks down at his hands it looks like they are covered in blood. He blinks and the illusion goes away. When he tries to take a shaky breath he ends up coughing as the air gets trapped in his lungs. He hears Bale move closer and can feel him carefully put a hand on his back.  
“Easy there, you’re okay. Just try to breathe.”  
Bale stands by his side; gently rubbing his back while he tries to slow down his breathing.  
Nikto calms down eventually; his breathing evening out.  
Bale crouches down so he’s on Nikto’s level.  
“Do you know where you are?”  
Nikto looks around the room as he slowly comes back to reality.  
“We’re in Verdansk. In a hospital.” Then the image of Minotaur lying still on the ground flashes through his mind. He looks over to the other side of the room where he can see Minotaur sleeping in one of the beds; with Rodion sleeping on the bed to his left.  
“Is Minotaur alright?”  
Bale looks over at the form of his sleeping brother.  
“He seems to be doing alright. I woke him a while ago and he was lucid, answering my questions and even telling me to go to hell.” He laughs and continues. “I see that as a good sign. He’s just as annoying as always.”  
Nikto chuckles a bit at that. Bale studies him carefully for a while.  
“How are you feeling?”  
Nikto looks down at his hands again; he’s ashamed of being like this. Even more ashamed of someone actually noticing it. Especially Bale who he’s grown to respect a lot.  
He eventually decides to give an honest answer. Bale deserves that at least.  
“I don’t know” That is the truth. It feels like he doesn’t even know what is real or not anymore.  
Bale gently squeezes his shoulder.  
“Do want to talk about it?”  
Nikto shakes his head. “Not really. I’m sorry for being like this.”  
The other man just shrugs. “We all have bad dreams. It comes with the job. If you don’t have nightmares you’re probably doing something wrong.”  
Nikto slowly nods, even though he still feels ashamed. He does feel a little better though; having someone by his side definitely makes the anxiety slightly easier to deal with.  
Bale turns his gaze to look at Nikto’s bandaged arm. “How’s your arm?”  
Nikto shrugs. “It’s okay. Hurts a bit but I can manage.”  
“Good.” Bale pats his shoulder before standing up. “Try to get some sleep if you can; we have a long day ahead of us.” He smiles at Nikto before walking over to the window; keeping an eye out for enemies.

Nikto falls asleep again not long after and this time the nightmares stay away. He only wakes when morning comes around and Rodion tells them all to get up.  
There has been no enemy activity during the night and Minotaur seems to be doing a bit better. He’s still injured enough that he can’t fight if they would run into the enemy, but he made it through the night and is in a relatively good mood despite the pain he’s in. So far, so good Nikto thinks.  
He’s standing by one of the windows looking out when Bale walks up next to him.  
“Still nothing?” The staff sergeant asks.  
Nikto nods.”I can’t see anything out of the ordinary, so we should be okay. We can’t be careful enough though.”  
Bale agrees on that. “We don’t know who to trust at the moment, so we stick together and move in the same formation as yesterday.”  
“Sounds like a plan.”  
Bale pats him on the back before walking over to the others who are readying their gear.

Nikto turns to look at his fellow soldiers. They have tough times ahead of them. At the moment it seems like they have more enemies than allies. AQ, Mr Z, coalition and now even allegiance are turning on their own. For the moment they can only trust each other.  
He hears Rodion laugh at one of Minotaur’s jokes and can’t help but smile to himself. Things might be tough but he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. Together they’ll make it through this.

Nikto used to think he was expandable. That he could be replaced with another soldier and no one would miss him. He used to think nobody would care if he got hurt or killed, that he wasn’t worth caring about. Now he realizes that isn’t the case. He’s got people who care about him. They’ve seen him at his worst and they don’t judge him for it, they don’t think he is weak.  
He cares about them too; he realized that when he thought Minotaur was dead.  
They might still be annoying at times, and Nikto will never understand Rodion’s passion about Hollywood movies, but they’re his comrades. He wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: If you've read this I'd be super happy if you left a comment! This is the first fic I've ever written, also english isn't my first language so I'm a bit nervous. Nikto is such an interesting character so I had fun writing this. Let me know what you think :D


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